Mama Had Her OWN Agenda

Yesterday, Mama refused to let the staff member at Augusta Gardens (assisted living) take her to the Jud C Hickey Alzheimer's adult care program.   She usually goes twice per week, which is a nice supplement to the activities at Augusta Gardens.  

Instead, she declared that I was coming to take her to the doctor!  Where did she get this notion?!  Mama kept calling me asking if me when I was coming to get her.  A call to my cell phone, then to the house phone, and back again to the cell !  I didn't initially answer because to do that would only reinforce in her mind that I would be coming to get her. 

But finally the staff member called me explaining that Mama was resistant to going with her.  She put Mama on the phone to me, and as I suspected she really couldn't/wouldn't hear or understand what I was saying. 

Later I called Nancy, the director at Alzheimer's Center who reminded me that this is a delusional episode as a result of the disease.  She suggested that the staff member try 'therapeutic lying' and tell Mama that she would take her to see her daughter (me).   Maybe I'll suggest this to Dot next time. 

I have a sneaking suspicion that this most likely will NOT work.  Mama really can't be fooled.  Never really could be, and she's just as strong-willed as she ever was!

Yes, this was initially quite emotional for me....because it's yet another reminder of how the disease is continuing to progress.  

But after a good cry to release these emotions, I was able to put things in perspective, and  just let it be what it is, and even find the humor in it.  It's like Mama was saying:  "You think you have plans for me?  Well I'll SHOW YOU!!"   :)

So we must go with the flow.  So yes yesterday, Mama refused to go and I guess she figured out later, that I would not be coming. 

Like a record player needle stuck on a groove of a record, Mama's mind was stuck on the thought of me coming to take her to the doctor.   That was her story, and she was sticking to it!  

I'm sure after awhile, she went on about her day engaging with the people and activities where she lives....spreading her joy (and jam and sweetener packets from the dinner table) to everyone she encounters!  Even now she's still a giver and loves people.   :)

Anita